THE MIXING OF TENSES:

He labored under the heavy load and takes it to the truck.  INCORRECT

He labored under the heavy load and took it to the truck.   CORRECT

She drew him to her and kisses him passionately.  INCORRECT

She drew him to her and kissed him passionately.  CORRECT

They were calling for volunteers, but they only select three. INCORRECT They called for volunteers but only selected three. CORRECT

TOO MANY SUPERLATIVES:

He was the most wonderful, fantastic man in the whole world, and she knew she was the luckiest, most blessed, woman alive.  He enchanted her, mesmerized her, made her believe he could walk on water.  He was so magnificent, so totally male.

(Okay, I sort of like that guy myself.  What was that again about superlatives?  Well, you know what I mean, anyway.)

EXCESSIVE ADVERBS:

We all know about the 'ly' words, check your manuscript and delete as many as possible, using instead strong, active verbs.

He walked slowly.  NO.

He trudged along, dragging one foot after the other. YES

She went quietly to the door and listened.  NO

Holding her breath, making no sound at all, she moved to the door, stopped, and listened. YES

Flesh out your manuscript, getting rid of weak 'telling' verbs by substituting strong 'action' verbs. My mentor, Mr. Wycliff A. Hill said that most manuscripts which are rejected are often rejected because they are so full of 'mind-numbing' narrative and very little dramatic action.  So we are back to that old bug-a-boo: SHOW DON'T TELL. [[HOWEVER, AS I'VE ALREADY SAID, THERE IS A NEED FOR NARRATION (TELLING) AT TIMES.  BE CAREFUL OF ALL THE ‘RULES' YOU RUN INTO NOWADAYS.  MOST OF THEM ARE BETTER IGNORED, EXCEPT THOSE THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PROPER WRITING.  FOR INSTANCE, WHO CAME UP WITH THE ‘RULE' THAT MULTIPLE POV's ARE TO BE AVOIDED?  WHO DECIDED THAT CONFLICT IN A NOVEL MUST BE BETWEEN A HERO AND HEROINE?  WHO MADE THE DECISION THAT A SYNOPSIS MUST BE WRITTEN IN PRESENT TENSE? THE BEST SYNOPSIS I EVER WROTE WAS WRITTEN AS DIARY ENTRIES IN FIRST PERSON, PAST TENSE.

MORE WORDS:

Interesting is a convenient word but what does it mean exactly?

It can mean amusing, thus: entertaining, diverting, or fascinating.

It can mean unusual: curious, exceptional, unique, original, extraordinary, remarkable, fantastic, bizarre, exotic, unfamiliar, or unconventional.

An interesting person may be: well-informed, clever, whimsical, picturesque, or quick-witted.

An interesting book may be: stimulating, informative, engrossing, absorbing.

An interesting lecture can be: instructive, enlightening, or edifying.

An almost endless list of synonyms can attach various meanings to the word interesting. An interesting result is how we, as writers, imply by our use of the word, exactly which of its meanings we wish to use in our word pictures.

(WORDS SUCH AS ‘INTERESTING' SAY VERY LITTLE. BE SPECIFIC WITH DESCRIPTIVE WORDS.)

Another convenient word is the word nice.

Do you know a nice girl?  (Or Do you know an attractive girl?) 

Did you have a nice dinner?  (Or did you have a tasty dinner?)

Is it a nice evening?  (Or is it a pleasant evening?)

The word nice, in its strict sense means fastidious, discriminating, or hypercritical.

((HINT: The use of the word 'nice' to mean pleasing, kind, considerate, et cetera is colloquial.  Try substituting words such as appealing, alluring, delectable, refreshing.))

Cute is a word we often use in the sense in which we use the word nice.

Try using instead:

clever, shrewd, saucy, pert, sprightly or impertinent.  Whichever word has the shade of meaning you wish to produce.  Cute won't do it.

[[A WRITER FRIEND OF MINE INSISTS: "There is no demand for ‘cute'."]]

Pretty, like interesting, is used to mean so many things, and actually says very little.

Music for example is not 'pretty'.  Some music is plaintive, some is moving, some is thunderous, some is bewitching and some is captivating. 

A march is perhaps stirring; a string quartet, exquisite; a symphony, magnificent; jazz, haunting, disturbing, rollicking, or tantalizing.

A girl is perhaps graceful, buxom, lovely, comely, dainty. 

A room is perhaps artistic, elegant, original, fanciful, attractive.

A hat is perhaps becoming; a flower, delicate; a rug colorful, et cetera.

Do not indiscriminately call things pretty.

Fine is a man's word, as pretty is a woman's.  Some synonyms for fine are: excellent, tasteful, rare, enjoyable, high-grade.

Swell is a slang word.  Do no use it as a term of approbation.  Here is a list of words to use in its stead: matchless, unequaled, priceless, gorgeous, costly, choice, rare, peerless, unparalleled, superlative, rich, capital, inimitable, elaborate, ornate, magnificent, elegant.

Good.  Do you speak of good food, good music, good acting, good companions, good clothing, etc?

Why not use specific words, such as: palatable, delicious, tempting or delectable food, luscious fruit, excellent or commendable acting, delightful, or stimulating companions, and well-made clothing?

Exquisite music, a superior mind, a creditable achievement, a valuable suggestion, a gratifying response, a meritorious piece of work.  All these words say so much more than good.

WONDERFUL DESCRIPTIVE WORDS:

Wild, racy, musty, aromatic, rich, rank, savage, sweet, pungent, acrid, pleasing, astringent, mellow.

Take the word wild as applied to taste: gamy, lush, untamed, woody, natural, unadulterated.

The word musty brings to mind: stale, old, moldy, tainted, rancid, strong, mildewed.

Acrid can be: sharp, acid, harsh, bitter, hot, pungent, burning, irritating, sour, full-flavored, stinging, piquant, biting, and tart.

Working out synonyms this way is an effective vocabulary building exercise, which in time will provide a writer with the exact descriptive word needed to color a scene with vivid imagery.

Words to remember:

Ingénue — An artless young girl

Protégé — one who is under the care and protection of another.

INTERESTING FACT: MAGIC AND THE OCCULT– The magician's word "abracadabra" is actually an old sorcerer's spell traced back to early medieval times.  In London, during the Black Plague, amulets with the following inscription were worn to keep away the disease.

              ABRACADABRA

              ABRACADABR

              ABRACADAB

              ABRACADA

              ABRACAD

              ABRACA

              ABRAC

              ABRA

              ABR

              AB

              A

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