PHRASE REFERENCE:

Remember that grammatically, a phrase modifies the nearest noun or pronoun.  Two grammatically wrong sentences are:

Emitting clouds of smoke, we saw the steamer land.

Emitting clouds of smoke belongs to the nearest pronoun, we.  Obviously that makes the sentence ridiculous.  We can properly write the sentence thus: We saw the steamer land, emitting clouds of smoke.

Being a great sinner, the preacher urged Smith to repent.

In this sentence, being a great sinner belongs to the preacher, but we know that is not what was intended.  Rearrange correctly, 'The preacher told Smith that, being a great sinner, he should repent.

We still have the possibility of ambiguity.  By using a passive construction of a direct quote, we can make the meaning unmistakable.

Being a great sinner, Smith was told by the preacher to repent.

Or:

The preacher said to Smith, "You're a great sinner, you should repent."

INCORRECT CLAUSE REFERENCE:

The war deprived the Belgians of food which was bad for their health.

I paid two dollars for the dog which was too little.

Experienced salespeople wanted, male or female; no other need apply.

THE ERRORS IN THE ABOVE SENTENCES CAN BE CORRECTED BY RECONSTRUCTION.

The first sentence tells us that food was bad for the Belgians health.

TRY THIS: During the war, the health of the Belgians was impaired because they were deprived of food.

The second sentence actually says that the speaker paid two dollars for a too-little dog.

TRY THIS.  I paid two dollars, which was too little, for the dog.

 The third sentence obviously intended to convey the idea that only experienced salespeople were wanted, but it actually says that only male

or female need apply.  

TRY THIS: Male or female salespeople wanted--must be experienced.

MORE TROUBLESOME WORDS:

'IF' WITH 'WAS' AND 'WERE':

(HINT: After a singular subject preceded by 'if', use 'was' when expressing a 'fact'.  Use 'were' when expressing a 'condition contrary to fact'.

CORRECT: 'IF' WITH 'WAS'

           If he was there, why didn't he speak?  (He was there.)

           If it was raining, you should have stayed at home.  (It was raining.)

           If she was ill, why didn't she say so?  (She was ill.)

CORRECT: 'IF' WITH 'WERE'

           If I were you, I should go.  (I am not you.)

           If Jack were here, he would help us.  (Jack is not here.)

           If she were well, she'd accept the position.  (She is not well.)

(HINT: WITH PLURAL SUBJECTS ALWAYS USE 'WERE' REGARDLESS OF MEANING.

           If they were poor, they could not afford that house.  (They are not poor.)

           If they were annoyed, why didn' t they leave?  (They were annoyed.)

'AS' AND 'LIKE':

'As' is a conjunction and 'like' is a preposition.  (To use 'like' as a conjunction is provincial and contrary to good usage.)  ALMOST ALL WRITERS MISUSE THE WORD ‘LIKE'.

CORRECT:                                                                                         

           "My son looks like me."  ('Like', a preposition,  must have an object)     

INCORRECT:

           "My son thinks like I do." (In this sentence we must use 'as', a conjunction, to join two clauses. ) 

CORRECT: "My son thinks as I do."

(HINT: Remember these two sentences--My son looks like me.   My son

thinks as I do.--and you should have no more difficulty with 'as' and

'like'.)

'ANY' AND 'AT ALL':

"That didn't hurt me *any*."    

"Did he suffer *any*?"    

"I didn't sleep *any* last night." 

IN ALL THREE ABOVE SENTENCES, OMIT 'ANY' OR SUBSTITUTE 'AT ALL'.

'EACH' OTHER AND 'ONE ANOTHER':

Each other is properly used in referring to two persons or things, as in, "The boy and the dog love each other."

One another is properly used in referring to more than two, as in, "The three salesmen vied with one another for first place."

'FARTHER' AND 'FURTHER':

'Farther' is used to denote distance.  "It is 'farther to his house than to mine."

"Further' is used to expand or add.  "He told us about that and said he'd give us further information tomorrow."

'COMPARE TO'-- ‘Compare to' is to examine in order to note similarities or differences, or to liken.

'COMPARE WITH': ‘Compare with' -- is to contrast, to set in opposition in order to

show or emphasize differences. 

(HINT:  Like or unlike things can be compared;  only essentially unlike things are contrasted.

Know your subject well.  Prepare and organize your material, keeping in mind that being a good storyteller is not enough if you wish to become a published author. You must be able to write effectively.   Select the proper words that will make your story come alive.  Grab your reader, immerse him into your scenes and involve him with characters which are memorable and realistic.

[[Remember, all advice is worth a thought, but not all can be applied in every instance.  Don't let any advice or rule influence your particular style or voice, which is uniquely yours and no others.  Use what you can and ignore all else.]]

LAST EXERCISE:

Write a wonderful novel, using any, all, or none of the information in these articles.  Get back to me when it's published, so I can buy a copy. 

Margery Harkness-Casares, multi-published, award winning author.

mcasares@prysm.net http://www.angelfire.com/la2/mcasares

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