VOICE: When the subject does the acting, the verb is in the active voice, as: The boy hit the ball.  When the subject receives the action, the verb is in the passive voice, as: The ball was hit by the boy.

There are times that we want to write passive because what we want to say makes more sense that way.  We just need to recognize the difference.

((HINT: Only transitive verbs CAN be used in the passive voice.)) We combine the passive voice by using some form of the verb 'be' (with a past participle of the verb under consideration) Passive verb forms are:  be, am, is, are, was, were, being, been.

EXAMPLES: The examples below are the usual type sentences shown to show the difference between active and passive voice.

The child hurt the dog. (Active)

The dog was hurt by the child.  (Passive)

Jim won the race.  (Active)

The race was won by Jim.   (Passive)

Paul and I patented the device.  (Active)

The device was patented by Paul and me. (NO.  NOT by Paul and I)(Passive)

THERE SEEMS TO BE A GREAT DEAL OF CONFUSION BETWEEN ‘ACTIVE' AND ‘PASSIVE' VOICE AND WHAT CONSTITUTES ‘TELLING' VERSUS ‘SHOWING'.

Anytime we use a passive voice we are ‘TELLING'–but we can also be telling when using the active voice.  An author ‘tells' a reader something when he/she makes a flat statement.  By embellishing the statement and painting a word picture, the author can ‘show' the reader, rather than ‘tell' the reader.  Of course, exposition is necessary but in order to allow the reader to experience the scene, we must show the scene to the reader.

These next ten sentences are ‘telling rather than ‘showing'.  Rewrite them by ‘showing' rather than ‘telling',  using picture words in place of the general terms.

1- A tree was on the knoll, providing shade from the sun.

2- A man was coming into view, walking slowly toward us.

3- A ship was in the harbor where it anchored.

4- The day was scorching hot, and the humidity was high.

5- The sound of the drums in the forest was loud.

6- The dogs, smelling the food, were restless.

7- The latest news he received was to return home.

8- The duke was plagued with frustration.

9- Her hair was the color of straw, and her eyes were green.

10 - There was nothing new about a female reporter going after a story.

EXAMPLES: CHANGING ‘TELLING' TO ‘SHOWING'.

1 - TELLING:   A tree was on the knoll, providing shade from the sun.

TELLING: A tree grew on the knoll, providing shade from the sun.

(Changing the verb ‘was' to ‘grew' gives it a stronger verb, but it is

still ‘telling'.    

SHOWING:  An enormous red mulberry tree spread it's branches like a giant umbrella over the secluded knoll, providing shade from the blinding rays of the noonday sun.

2 - TELLING:  A man was coming into view, walking slowly toward us.

BETTER, BUT STILL TELLING: A man came into view, walking slowly toward us.

SHOWING: A dusty, sweaty man appeared in the distance, plodding along, one slow step after another, coming toward us.  (The difference here is that the author is no longer ‘TELLING' the reader that the man approaches slowly, but now the author SHOWS that he is coming slowly, and paints a word picture which we can clearly see in our mind's eye.

3 - TELLING:  A ship was in the harbor where it anchored. 

BETTER, BUT STILL TELLING: A ship sailed into the harbor, where it anchored. 

SHOWING:  A silver-masted ship appeared out of the darkness, its sails etched against the night sky, and slipped into the harbor where it anchored.

4 - TELLING:  The day was scorching hot, and the humidity was high. BETTER, BUT STILL TELLING: The day sweltered in the scorching heat and high humidity. 

SHOWING: The day sweltered in the scorching heat that smothered everything in its humid grip, hanging like a curse in the air, strangling the inhabitants.

5 - TELLING:  The sound of the drums in the forest was loud. BETTER BUT STILL TELLING: The forest drums sounded loud. 

SHOWING:  The sound of drums crashed like thunder through the forest in ever lengthening rolls until nothing could shut out the boom, boom, boom, and we covered our ears to deaden the incessant torment.

6 - TELLING:  The dogs, smelling the food, were restless. BETTER BUT STILL TELLING: The odor of food made the dogs restless. 

SHOWING:  The scent of meat cooking on the boucan pits reached the dogs leashed nearby, and the mastiffs paced the length of their bonds in frenzied anticipation.

7 - TELLING:  The latest news he received was to return home. BETTER BUT STILL TELLING: The latest news he received ordered him to return home.

SHOWING: He'd heard nothing until he received the news to return home--news which he'd dreaded with each lonely day, as he'd paced and cursed.  Now that it had come, a weight seemed to have lifted from his tired shoulders. **OR IF THE NEWS IS HAPPY NEWS: He'd heard nothing until he received the news to return home, news he'd awaited with such longing and anticipation.  When it finally arrived, he rushed for his already packed cases, humming a tune.

8 - TELLING:  The duke was plagued with frustration.

BETTER BUT STILL TELLING: Frustration plagued the duke.

SHOWING:  Frustration bit at the duke like a horde of gnats, tempting him toward a dangerous folly.

9 - TELLING:  Her hair was the color of straw and her eyes were green.

BETTER BUT STILL TELLING: She had straw-colored hair, and she gazed at him with her green eyes.

SHOWING: She fingered her tightly curled hair, with its hint of gold, that reminded him of sun-scorched wheat.  Her fascinating eyes seemed to fluctuate between blue and green, according to her mood. Her mouth, too big even when it was closed, tempted him more than he'd admit.

10- TELLING: There was nothing new about a female reporter going after a story. BETTER BUT STILL TELLING: A female reporter, going after a story, no longer raised an eyebrow. 

SHOWING: The female reporter, rushed into the press room, elbowed through the throng of male reporters without causing any overt attention, even though she knew the male reporters still considered her incompetent.

CONFUSING TO MANY WRITERS ARE TRANSITIVE AND INTRANSITIVE VERBS,

SUCH AS: SIT - SET

((HINT: The intransitive verb 'sit' means to assume, or be in, a certain position--and it NEVER takes an object.))  A chair 'sits' in a corner. A vase 'sits' on a table. I 'sit' in a chair.

EXAMPLES:  TENSES:  Present    Past    Past participle    Present participle

PRESENT TENSE: Today, I 'sit'.

PAST TENSE: Yesterday I 'sat'.

PAST PARTICIPLE I 'have sat'.

PRESENT PARTICIPLE I 'am sitting'.

The transitive verb 'set' means to place or put.  It requires an object to complete its meaning. I 'set' the lamp on the table.  Yesterday, I 'set' it there.  I 'have set' it there frequently.  I 'was setting' the lamp on the table when you came in.

EXAMPLES:

The mother 'set' the baby on the floor.

The farmer 'set' the 'sitting' hen.

'Set' the chair in the corner and let me 'sit' there.

 LIE - LAY

((HINT: 'Lie', like 'sit' means to assume a position or to be in a position.  It also takes no object.))

TENSE:  Present    Past    Past participle    Present participle

To assume position:     lie, lay, lain, lying    (No ‘LAID' and no object.)

EXAMPLES:

PRESENT: Today I 'lie' down

PAST: Yesterday I 'lay' down.

PAST PARTICIPLE:I 'have lain' down many times.

PRESENT PARTICIPLE: I 'am lying' down.

To place: lay, laid, laid,  laying (requires an object.)

EXAMPLES:

Today I 'lay' the book down.

Yesterday I 'laid' it there.

I 'have laid' it there often.

I 'am laying' it there.

SUPERLATIVES:

The writer who constantly uses superlatives to express every idea gives the impression of having no range of vocabulary and is ineffective as a writer.  Tone down such expressions as: Wonderful, splendid, horrible, gorgeous, disgusting, fantastic, etc.

THE OMNIBUS (overworked) WORD 'WALK'

The simple expedient of eliminating omnibus words from your writing will automatically add dozens of words to your vocabulary.  You can say a character walks, or you can give a suggestion of how he walks.

EXAMPLES: The character who 'shows' by his walk that he is vain, might 'strut'.  The fat person is apt to 'waddle'; the tired person 'plods'; the weary child 'trudges'; the baby 'toddles'; the person walking slowly to be been, may be said to 'promenade'; the person who walks with no particular destination in mind 'strolls', 'meanders', or 'wanders'.  One who walks in measured steps, 'paces'; and an angry person 'strides' or 'paces'. A sick or lazy or elderly person 'shuffles'.

An artist very carefully selects certain shades and tones of color for each part of a picture he paints.  A writer should just as carefully select words that have the exact shade of meaning the writer wishes to express.  When you write with care, you select from a vast assortment of words only those that will fit into your word picture.  Your skill in selecting these words determines the degree to which your picture will be lifelike and satisfying.  It is very important to learn the principals that explain why certain words are more effective than others.  We have seen that specific words are more effective than general terms.  We also have seen the effect of descriptive adjectives of color and light.  NEXT, lets consider imitative words.

INTERESTING FACT: The children's game of ‘RING AROUND THE ROSY' and the words that accompany it (‘Ring around the rosy, pocket full of posy, ashes, ashes, all fall down') derive from the medieval practice of scattering rose petals in a circle around one's bed and carrying small bouquets as protection against the Black Plague.

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